I respect every public servant... Yes, even at the Department of motor vehicles, but I need to be honest and say that most Cops just plain piss me off. Now there are exceptions to be sure. One of my best friends is an officer in Buffalo that deals with horrible situations for little pay and even less respect. Dan's friendship is gold to me. I think the ones who really get under my skin are the traffic Cops. My theory is this; I'm an adult. If I'm speeding then there's a reason for it. Leave me alone! Of course these guys think they have heard every excuse in the book, so you really have to get creative if you want to yank them out of their element. Here's one; "Well, officer, you know those signs that tell you how fast you're going? The ones you sometimes see on the side of the road? Well I was just motoring along when I thought I saw one... it turned out to be the time and temp, but I thought it was reading me at 834 miles per hour so I slammed on my brakes and that's how that poor family in the car behind me died." There's no form for that one. Or maybe this will work for you; "No, officer, I never use turn signals... it's nobody's business where I'm going" I find that one rarely works. Best you can hope for is a chuckle and a ticket... most times you don't get the chuckle tho.
The key is to address the officer with respect and avoid saying stupid things that just lead to trouble... Cops are bred without a sense of humor. Things I have said that have come back to bite me on the ass are as follows;
"I thought you had to be in reasonably good shape to be a Cop."
"You're not going to check the trunk are you?"
"Could we make this go away for, say a dozen krispy kremes?"
"since when is driving around in my underpants with a towel tied around my neck like a cape yelling 'CRIME IS IN SOME BIG TROUBLE NOW!' a ticketable offence?"
"Man! Looks like I dumped that body just in time!"
"Oh, I guess this means there's no REAL crime going on you can help out with"
So remember; treat Cops as if they are real people deserving of respect, and when you see those flashing lights in the rearview mirror... run like hell. They love that.

I have been a gatherer of factoids for as long as I can remember... little bits of information that have no real value to the world at large but for some reason stick in my memory forever. Example; the voice of ground control during the countdown in David Bowie's SPACE ODDITY (Major Tom) is John Lennon. But in my travel through life I have also learned some things that do matter, and I thought maybe I should write them down just in case someone needs to hear them.
1. America's first Republican President abolished slavery. A Republican Congress passed the civil rights bill. Southern Democrats (Dixiecrats) were the promoters of segregation. Yet the vast majority of African Americans vote Democrat.
2. Mt. St. Helen's volcanic eruption spewed more toxins, fluorocarbins, and silt into the atmosphere than all of the pollutants man has ever created in his history.
3. A population study was done in 1995 that yeilded these results; If you took the population of the earth, devided it up into four person family units, gave each unit a 1,500 sq. ft. space for housing, you could fit the entire population of the planet in Texas.
4. When microscopic bacterial fossils were found on an asteroid believed to have come from Mars, it was considered proof of life, Yet an entire functioning fetus here on earth is not.
5. Every year more oil seeps up from the bottom of the earth's oceans than was spilled from the Exxon Valdiz.
6. The Ozone layer has not grown any larger than it was the day we discovered the Ozone exsisted.
7. A Republican President (Teddy Roosevelt) wrote the National Parks bill, and a Republican President (Richard M. "Tricky Dick" Nixon) instituted the Environmental Protection Agency, yet the Democrats are thought of as the environmental party.
8. 9/10 of the world's population lives within 10 miles of a shoreline.
9. Darwin said that the biggest problem with his evolutionary theory was that the fossil record didn't support it. We talk about "the missing link" like there's only one missing! If every living thing originated from a single cell in a biological soup, then I'd like to see just one of the transitional stages between the daisy and the giraffe
10. Oil drilling in Alaska actually helped the animal population grow... The elk and raindeer were warmed as they nested near the pipeline.
I guess I'll leave it at 10 for now. That's plenty to think about.

Everyone is complaining about the sorry state of education these days and the desperation is getting such that some odd measures are being considered. I am talking here of school uniforms for public schools.
Now the idea of everyone looking alike being a good thing somehow is not new to this generation. If I remember correctly a guy named Adolph something or other had the same idea back in the 40's. I recall hearing a little bit about it... there was a lot of shouting, things got broken,and, well long story short a lot of ethnic types essentially got melted down for fuel. I don't remember anything about German SAT's going up at all due to uniforms however. Maybe that wasn't reported... or maybe I should look farther than Hogan's Heros for my history factoids. Either way the whole thing was rather frowned upon in retrospect and I think maybe we should skip trying it all again.
Let's look at this rationally for a moment shall we? School hasn't been about education since the early 70's (I saw to that personally)... school is a pickup joint. School is where your child is weighed and measured and given his permanent social standing in life. He or she will rise to the level or sink to the level in the food chain that they will occupy until they take the big dirt nap or until they win the lottery. If you want your child to get an education you need to look into home schooling.
Now the idea behind uniforms is simple, and it is this; um... okay, I don't get it. No, the feeling is if no one looks better than anyone else the students in their confusion will be forced to focus on their studies. Yeah. Of course there is wisdom in setting some limits. My daughter for example has been in a "goth" faze for a couple years now; powder white skin, black lipstick and finger nails, black clothes... if there were no limits she'd end up walking around in a shroud carrying a scythe. So where is the middle ground? How does one set limits and still preserve individuality? Glad you asked! Here's my proposal; School uniforms. But wait! Every school should have 5 uniforms each student could mix and match and use any or all of while in school. Now what the guys wear is immaterial being that it will be pants and a shirt one way or the other, but we can have a little fun with the girls options. As you may suspect I have a couple ideas. My five uniform options would be as follows; Naughty Nurse, French Maid, Sexy Catholic Schoolgirl, Cheerleader, and Miniskirt Nun for the sickos.
I don't know if this will help test scores over all... in fact I can pretty much guarantee grades will drop drastically among the male portion of the student body, but attendance will be at an all time high.
And That Settles That

March 10-06

Okay, For my first blog I thought I'd deal with a most important subject; being wrong and why it should never happen. One of the most inane questions ever asked me is this; "Did it ever occur to you that you may be wrong?" No matter the subject being discussed at the time I have never considered that I may be wrong, and don't understand why anyone ever would. Being wrong is the result of lazy conversation skills and lazy thinking. Let's take a sample topic and see how it all plays out.
Two people are discussing the song "Eleanor Rigby" these two people are me and some guy who doesn't know any better than to argue with me. He says; "This is my favorite Zeppelin tune." I say; "No, this is the Beatles." He says; "I'm sure it's Zeppelin, it came out in '63." to which I respond; "Dude, it's the Beatles. Don't make me kill you." He asks me; "Did it ever occur to you that you may be wrong?" I most likely kill him at this point.

Now, several things happened here: I knew for a fact that the song in question was a Beatles tune. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind and so I took a stand and stated the fact. When the idea it came out in '63 was approached i didn't argue it because I have no real idea when it was released... '63 sounds a little early to me, but I had no hard facts one way or the other, so I kept my mouth shut.

There are several tips to never being wrong, and that sample conversation only covers a couple of them.

1.) Only take a stand about things you know to be true beyond a shadow of a doubt. If there is a provable answer and you know it, say it.

2.) If you're not sure, or even just think you might be right, keep your mouth shut.

3.) If it's a "matter of opinion" argument, rant on! Your opinion is as valid as anyone else's.

4.) In questions that have answers but are highly contested (abortion, political stances, creation vs. evolution...) you need to look to a higher authority you can trust and take his position. There is one out there who has all the answers and has written them down for us. When unsure and in need of the highest authority I use God... you can use me.

With these simple rules in place you can be assured of never being wrong. I have never argued with anyone that was correct, so if you see me arguing on any subject you can rely on the fact that I am right. If there were even the remotest chance that I could be wrong about some subject I wouldn't have argued it in the first place. Simple.

And That Settles That.